Hot garbage sin
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The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy
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Your top didn’t top you, you bottomed your top. Use language of empowerment sisters!
He didnt penetrate you. You engulfed him.
They didn’t eat you out. You fed them.
(via strandedcrow)
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Flip your phone upside down
worth it
I’m high rn and I just experienced pure joy
Thank you
(via spellingoutmyexistence)
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*plays assassins creed to study for my ap history exam*
This is actually really funny. In high school my humanities teacher told us a story about one of the Europe trips he had gone on with the school a few summers past. So him and the group of kids were in the middle of Rome and the tour guide had gotten lost. They could figure out how to get to some church they were going to see. All of a sudden one of the students like call attention to himself. He says he knows where to go and just start walking around the streets, taking back roads and side streets and within 20 mins they’re at the church they needed to get to. My teacher asks the kid if he has every been to Italy before. He says no, he just knew where to go because he played Assassins Creed Brotherhood.
(via shrapnelthoughts)
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I need to be the hottest person at the grocery store
This perfectly captures my ridiculous inner monologue that revolves around impressing other people in the most oblique ways
(via lunathemoonkitten)
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Encounter: “howdy pardner, you need some help?”
A cowboy kitsune. Whether hes telling the truth or not, given his cowboy honor and the fact he’s also a kitsune, is up to debate. But he might just lead you somewhere worthwhile.
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today in “youtube’s recommendation algorithm completely misunderstands what i’m interested in”: i am recommended a channel consisting entirely of livestreams of a creepy dude sitting in a corner and just staring at the camera for 4 hours, 3 times a week
a robber broke into his house and he didn’t stop recording and the robber got so creeped out he left. the video is on his YouTube somewhere
“This episode of Sitting and Smiling features a very special guest.
About 2.5 hours into the webcast, I hear someone come into the
house, which is odd, because my only housemate is at work, and we
aren’t expecting anyone. I realize I didn’t check to see if the doors
were locked before starting the webcast. I hear the person stealthily moving
around the house, and then I hear them stealthily climbing the stairs,
towards my room. My door opens, and I hear an unfamiliar male
voice say “Hello?”. Then, after presumably seeing me sitting still and
smiling in front of a camera, lit from beneath by a florescent bulb, he
promptly descends the stairs and exits the house.You can see this happen at 2:36:30
As it turns out, the doors were locked, and he had broken one open. We found nothing missing, as there is not really anything of value in the house other than the laptop I was using to webcast.“
I’m howling
The robber legitimately thinks they just walked into a creepypasta and they made the wise choice of getting the hell out of there
(via shrapnelthoughts)
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You know how to break the stalemate of WWII FPS games? Let us play as everyone but the Americans and British, a campaign where you start as a Polish soldier holding the onslaught of the German army, only to be immediately relocated to try and contain the soviets; then as a Finn throwing molotovs at T-26′s, sniping cold and confused soviet soldiers, and shooting down bombers over your home city; then you move as a French soldier at the outskirts of Dunkerque, trying your hardest to hold your line while the BEF gets evacuated.
Then out of the blue you switch sides, now you’re a Japanese soldier invading Hong Kong, Singapore, The Philippines; now a German at Barbarossa, North Africa, an Italian in Greece, then now you’re a Cretan partisan shooting a fallschirmjagers, a yugoslavian partisan shooting at the SS, a french partisan kicking the germans out of Paris, and for the final missions, a Soviet at Kursk, an SS at Budapest, and finally, the same polish soldier you began as fighting for the soviets at the Battle of Berlin.
Because fuck me, the Anglo side of the war has been done to death.
(via enrique262)